Friday, May 29, 2009

Contemplating hyprocrisy

After what has been an intense thought filled week - I've decided to vent through a blogpost. Maybe it will be a good way to get my thoughts reorganised, even a good way to get some people sharing their thoughts on the matter.

As the title suggests, I've been thinking alot of hypocrisy... We've all faced it, heck we're probably all guilty of it someway or another. We're all human, we like to think we all do the right thing by ourselves and others - but chances are, if we judge or comment on something we don't like about someone, we're probably just as guilty about doing it ourselves.

Okay - so the student in me wants to start by first defining what "hypocrisy" means, just goes to show that I have spent way too long writing essays and reports, so I hope this post isn't too academic. For all of you who just want to know the exact definition of hyprocrisy it is this:
  • an expression of agreement that is not supported by real conviction
  • insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have
(Wordnet Princeton, 2009) - look! I even have to reference! :O

So now, we all know what it is all about... And this week I have well faced it on both descriptions. We're all hypocrites in our little ways, and just like lies (hey even then, parents tell their children not to lie and then lie that Santa or The Tooth Fairy is real!) there are the small ones that don't hurt anybody and the really big ones that can really screw things up.

Here is one form that maybe you might be more familiar with: being two-faced. Now, as a female I can definitely agree that on some levels it is engrained in our nature - we like to talk about people to other people and to another set people as well, usually its harmless and on the occasion we get in trouble for it. But here is my issue: when it is no longer 'harmless' and steps into the workplace.

After being told by my superior that they really "appreciated my input" and "valued my work" and tried hard to amp up my ego (which I could see through), I was suddenly placed in a position to implement a plan, where my input was not considered in its creation. Based on my previous experiences, I was quite insulted for the complete disregard of my knowledge - and everyone whom I told couldn't figure out how that worked and thought it was wrong. Now many would say "that's life" and "that's work" and I should probly grit my teeh and bear it - but when I went to them and told them how I felt and that as result of it I was seriously considering resigning, suddenly they turned out and starting to tell me "they were sorry that there was oversight on the issue" and that it wasn't "intentional". Now, sure maybe I should be forgiving and let it go - but given of my original opinions of my superior, that is not the case, I realised deep down that person was literally "two-faced", they would say things they thought should be said, that I should be told just because they were the manager who wanted to maintain morale.

To make matters worse! After following a discussion to address my "issues" the same person than tried to do reverse psychology on me - asking me why I felt this way and what would happen if I was to face it in another job. Going further to say that part of my job was not to take so much work on and everything that came out of their mouth seemed like "sugar-coating" to make themselves feel better, knowing full well that I take my work seriously will try hard and work above expectations... Thinking about it now makes me roll my eyes (which is not a good habit to get into!)

What I can't figure out is what is the point of saying one thing and then doing another? And then trying to apologise for it? Sure, I may be a casual staff member - but if you really don't believe in the work I do, than dont' tell me you do! Seriously, I could waste my time listening to something else or expressing my "thank yous" and be polite to someone who compliments me and actually means it. Why waste my time? I have so little of it already!

On the lighter note, a smaller hyprocrisy and none in offence to parents out there - I love my parents seriously, I just on some levels just don't understand them.

One thing which makes me wonder as I occasionally make serious thoughts about my future, which I hope to include children one day. I think, that I can really learn from my parents shortcomings. Now, as I mentioned before, hypocrisy is everywhere and parents are often sometimes the worse - which is fine when your children are little and they don't understand and you want them to grow up and be well behavcd. But what happens when they grow up, pick up on the fact that you don't indeed stick by what you want them to do - where do you go from there?

Leading by example: I am sure you know what that means, its pretty straightforward. But just in case, its is showing others what you would like them to do because you do it to. Now, I face this alot of home, most of the time I brush it off - accept that is parents for you, you just have to bear it. But given my already hyprotically filled week, it was just one bad part in an even worse week - so I think I should add it to the list. My parents are great for telling me to do things but not doing it themselves, the child in me can see that and mimics what they do - so even though I get told to "clean my room" and "put away my things", I don't, why? Because they don't. The problem here, is I don't want to in 5 or so years, have some children and do the same. Now, if I could tell my parents (without sounding disrespectful or unappreciative) I would say to them - when you are just as perfect as you want me to be, and I am not - you have the right to tell me off. Unfortunately, in many attempts to really do so, I still get told to clean my room even though theirs isn't clean...

Now, that made me feel better - its out in the open! Yay! It made me realise that humans, well, we're pretty messed up sometimes. We're always willing to shovel off the blame to someone else, knowing deep down inside - it is all a lie and we're just as bad.

So here we are, the end of my first official post. Tell me what you think? Too negative? I apologise now - just the result of the week...

But share with me the times you have been faced with hyprocrisy - I like to share these things...

And for now? Well I will focus how I don't want to be a hypocrite and well will at least try to be less of one - because all it really does it create problems...

Till next time...